MamaChef's Random Writings

Location: Tennessee

I'm 29, and I still will be on my birthday this year!!! I swear it! My darling husband and I have been married for 7 years this year. We have two great kiddos: a 5 year old son, and a nearly 2 year old daughter. The are the most beautiful kids in the world if you ask us! I work at home, 2 jobs, one is developing curriculum and other publications for a disability ministry. By night I am a Pampered Chef consultant. I love both of my jobs, and I love that they are flexible enough for me to stay at home with my kids.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Survey Says!

10 years ago - Was back at Milligan after a summer intership that changed me. Was miserable and grades were horrible, because I knew I was in the wrong place.

5 years ago - Had just found out that we were pregnant with C-man! Was feeling rather lousy, w/ morning sickness and all!

1 year ago - Enjoying our newest addition to the family, A-baby, settling into the routine of having 2 chid'rens.

Yesterday - I went to church, came home and napped, and then had a couple of friends kidnap me and wisk me off to Dixie Stampede for an evening of friends, food and fun!!!!! Just what I needed!!!!!

5 snacks I enjoy the most:

* Doritos- Cool Ranch
* cheddar pretzels
* Ice cream
* cookie dough
* crackers

5 songs I know all the words to:

* Rainy Day - Big Dismal
* All of the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat soundtrack
* Gilmore Girls theme song
* More Than Words - Exteme
* In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel

5 things I would do with a billion dollars:

* Pay off all bills
* Donate to Power Ministries, BIG TIME
* Help out my family and friends with debts
* Fund Kids college tuition
* Travel with the fam...1st location....DISNEY!!!!!

5 places ideal for running away to:

* Scrapbook store
* K's house
* the beach
* J's family's farm
* the mall

5 items you'll never see me wear:

* crop tops/tube tops
* bikini
* plunging necklines down to the naval!
* mini skirt
* stilletos (I would fall on my face!!!!!)

5 best TV shows:

* Lost
* Grey's Anatomy
* Gilmore Girls
* Cold Case

5 biggest joys in life:

* My husband
* C-man
* A-baby
* Handi-camp
* my parents

5 favorite toys:

* books
* anything that could be found in the woods behind my parents house (those were the days!!!)
* blocks
* crayons
* dolls

Monday, August 15, 2005

Where I Wanna Be

Just in case anyone is checking in...Life is crazy, haven't had much extra time on my here's food for thought...

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart
Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome
Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand
And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Ebay Nut Jobs!

****WARNING**** This is a rant! It is not a life threatening one, but for those delicate sensabilities, I thought I would forewarn that the content was written while the writer was under much duress. Thank you for your time...

Roughly a month ago I decided that I was going to go through our "JUNK" and pull out some of the nicer items to put on ebay, thinking it would make a little more money than it would at a yard sale. So, I get it all together, write up the auctions, and let the bidding begin. A long process, but not a terribly taxing one.

About a week goes by, the stuff sells, and the payments start coming in. One particular item that I had put up I was a little frustrated by the low price it went for. It was a Pfaltzgraff chip and dip platter, and a very nice one! I'd say with the brand name, that it originally retailed for around $30-40! Mine sold for $5!!!! Whoopie.

Another week goes by, and I haven't heard word one from the purchaser in response to the 2 emails I had sent. I decide that everyone seems to give buyers about 2 weeks to make contact before they give negative feedback. So, I decide that I would do the same. I sent 3 more emails, and still never heard a thing. This past Friday I decide that I had given a fair enough time to receive money or reply to my attempts and left negative feedback. Later that day I get an email filled with dismay...She had been away becuase her MOTHER DIED!!!!! What a tool I felt like! It was late, so I decided I would respond to her the next day. Saturday however got chaotic...I had a Pampered Chef show to do in the morning, came home picked up J and the kids, we did some running, then went to the church so he could set up for praise band the next day, and I cleaned toys in the nursery. We went home, I bathed the kids, put them to bed and then crashed! The next day we were up early to be at church early for Praise Band, then left from the church to go spend the day with my Aunt 2 hours away. We got home late, and did dinner and then went to bed!

Yesterday (Monday) morning I go to check some of the auctions on Ebay and see that my feedback rating had dropped. This chick had left me a negative comment saying: "NO COMMUNICATION!!!! DID NOT RESPOND TO EMAILS!!!!" 'Scuse me???? Wha'huh????? It had MAYBE been 48 hours since she had sent me the email about her mom, I gave her 2 weeks!!!! Not to mention her comment was bogus, and that will reflect on my business ethic! No communication my a$$!!!!!! So I wrote back, attempting some dignified answer that she had not given me ample time to reply to her, that I was sorry about the passing of her mother, and my intent was to attempt a retraction of the feedback or at least reply so that people looking at her feedback could see what the hang up was.

THEN, today I get a reply back that said: "If you leave negative feedback (regardless of the circumstances -right or wrong) you should expect the same. That is how feedback works. (right or wrong)" Riiiiiiiiiiiight! I was of the school of thought that if there was such a miscommunication, that you wait for a response, and if it didn't go well, THEN you leave feedback like that....and if you are going to leave feedback, at least leave TRUTHFUL feedback and make it neutral...or just don't leave feedback at all!!! That's what I would have done! There was no need for what she did, really!!!! I've never lost a parent before, so I don't know if there's a level of grief where lashing out and being bitchy is acceptable. And the whole rating thing wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't a refection on a) your business ethich and b) there are sellers that will not accept your bids if you have any negative feedback! that off my chest! Thank you for those of you that continued this ranting journey with me. I'll jump off my soap box now and return you to your regularly scheduled programming!

God bless us everyone!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I have returned...a slightly frumpled POL....

That's Prisoner of Life...for those who may not know all of MamaChef's isms :) Actually, I don't feel like a prisoner...that was just for dramatic effect. We've actually had some really great times this summer. However I'm still a lady awaiting her family vaca to Disney World!!!!! I could be waiting another 5 years for that one though!!!! ARG!!!!

Let's see, since my last post, I've been to IN (Got to dine with LOLA!!!!), I've been to WV...WV's been here, IN's been here. My son hates me because I've been forcing him to sit on the potty, my daugther's finally cutting more teeth, and last week I was at church everyday for about 6 hours a day for Fine Arts Camp...where we taught 40 1-6th graders a 1 hour musical in 5 days. That's roughly 2-3 months of work jam packed into 5 days! They did AWESOME!!!! On top of all that, there's my 2 them, and yet I'm quite tired!

Anyway...that's just a brief update of my life from Bon Jovi until now. I've been following my other pals in Blog-land. Thank you for your unbridled patience while my life came in for a touch and go landing.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Bon Jovi RULES!!!!!

Haven't updated much in the past few a much needed Girl's day this weekend and had a FABULOUS time!!!! Otherwise, this weekend was pretty standard, not too much monumental. Sooooooo, I found this on number3TX's blog, and thought I would do it....a list, whatelse??? Doesn't everyone love "the list"???? :D

Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: Bon Jovi (I'm so playing my CD's for the rest of the day!!!!)

Describe yourself: Livin' On a Prayer

Are you male or female: "I (HE'S) Got the Girl (dat's me!)"

How do some people feel about you: She's a Mystery

How do you feel about yourself: Just Older :)

Describe your ex lover: You (he) Give Love A Bad Name (some wack jobs in my history)

Describe your current lover: Thank You for Loving Me & I'd Die For You

Describe where you want to be: (I want to) Save the World

Describe what you want to be: Rockin In the Free World

Describe how you live: It's My Life

Describe how you love: Undivided and All About Lovin' You (him)

Share a few words of wisdom: Sometimes you might feel 'Misunderstood', but don't 'Runaway', you just have to "Keep the Faith". Find your "Something to Believe In" and live life with a 'Blaze of Glory'!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Negative, Nada, Nil, Negatorae

So, my cousin and one of my BFF's spent most of yesterday convincing me that it would probably bode well for me to purchase a pregnancy test. Why, you may be asking...because I was over a week late and I'm not on any BCP's currently...ergo, my lateness COULD be due to a big WHOOPS! This caused me great distress, and I almost boycotted Wal-Mart yesterday for this very reason, but my daughter is not quite a year old yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! However, my family DID in fact need dinner last night, so I trapesed to Wally World, and with great trepidation, I tiptoed down the pregnancy test and contraceptive asile. Now, the amusing part of the story was, my budget didn't really cover one of the high end PT's, so I was hoping for just the Equate version...only I didn't see ANY! And of course you can't possible conceal yourself in this asile in an attempt to look for a PT...they are on the bottom shelf, in plain view of God and everybody! And where I live, if you make a trip to Wal Mart, you inevitably run into at least 11 people you know per trip! So, here I am squatting down to peer way back in the back of the bottom shelf to see if the might still have the $3 PT...and they did. I stick my arm back there, always on board for saving $4, up to my shoulder to get the LAST Equate Pregnancy Test. I drop it in the buggy, and quickly cover it up with my bags of salad in hopes that I can high tail it out of there fast enough that I don't see anyone that I know. But, HARK, as I'm casually strolling down the asile, I see one of my other BFF's...she didn't catch my eye right away, but her toddler daughter recognized me and made a noise. I couldn't hide now! I walk up to her and we are wandering around together for a few minutes, and I see her look into my buggy....I'm praying that she didn't see what I was concealing in there, but a few minutes later I get up to check out and notice that the box had come uncovered! OY!!!! I know I blushed big fat red in my panic. I checked out and head home, only to have to rush around and get the kids dressed to head out for our FPU class. I was way too nervous to take the test in my blinding rush, so I waited until I got home take it. I get in the door, find the box and head for the bathroom. I always hate taking these tests, not only because of the control that is held on those blessed sticks, but because they are just ackward to maneuver!!! Anyway, I'm sitting there waiting the results, hyperventilating in the process. And finally the test is complete with a big fat NEGATIVE!!!!!! NO PREGGO FOR ME!!!! Don't get me wrong, I'm not against having another chillin, I just don't feel I could handle the pressure just yet. I am wishing all my baby dust on some other dear friends and family that deserve some blessings before I get myself knocked up again!

You girls know who you are, and I wish you all the babies you can handle!!! ******XOXOXOXO******

Monday, May 30, 2005

An Answer to the Madness

I've been in a rather dark place off and on for the
past few months. It's usually only temporary, for a
few days, and then I'd be fine again. I'd be pretty
jumpy, easily the point of emotionally
snapping a few times, tired, and my outlook on life,
mostly friendships, is very bleak...sometimes I'd just
want to pack up my things and leave for a few days.
I've suffered some abandonment issues, felt like I
didn't have a friend in the world! On that note, after
talking to J about that emotion, he's agreed that some
of our friends have really separated themselves into
cliques, so maybe I wasn't completely off there!

Anyway...Yesterday, Sunday, was probably the worst day
for me, emotionally, in a LONG time, probably since
high school. A lot of what I coped with in high school
was due to an emotionally abusive boyfriend, and once
I got rid of him, life was a lot brighter! Yesterday I
seemed to have an out-of-body experience. Things
started out OK, I ended up staying home from church
because A-baby had been sick, J went on, and when he
got home, I asked if he could help me out with a few
things. He begrudging agreed, but the attitude I thought I saw
in him really set me reeling! Now usually, this would
not bother me as much as it did...I'd express my
frustration at his attitude, we'd come to an
understanding, and the rest of the day would be
better. Yesterday I was angry, and things just went
downhill from there. C-man seemed to not listen all
day, and I screamed at him a few times, not the norm
for me, at least not at the level that I verbally
attacked him. A-baby cried for what seemed to be half
the day, she's been sick after all, and I think
teething and having some growing pains. Usually I'd
just comfort her, and we'd be fine with life. I was
unraveling at the crying very quickly, and it seemed
like nothing I did helped. In the evening, I escaped
to the grocery for about an hour, but when I came home
I found A-baby had knocked over the gate and was in the
kitchen eating dog food again, and J was back the
hall on Xbox. I HAD HAD IT!!!! I yelled at him, made
the baby cry, threw groceries around the kitchen and
came very close to kicking the dog. Now, for anyone
that knows me, a downward spiral like this is very
abnormal behavior!

I cooled off long enough to eat dinner and start the
kids on their baths. Once I got C-man in the tub and
scrubbed, I went to rinse his hair, he started fussing
as he hates having his hair rinsed. BUT, the attitude
threw me over the edge. I yelled at him, finished
rinsing his hair, threw the towel at him and left the
room, and him crying. J came in and took care of the
rest and I went and locked myself in our bedroom,
crying, for quite awhile. By then I had come
completely unglued...I didn't know what was wrong,
couldn't control my emotions anymore, and wanted to
just shut everything and everyone out!

I've never felt so out of control, and it was very
scary! I felt like I was on the road to crazy and
fearing a trip to the loony bin. Later on, J and I
had another frustrating moment over folding laundry
and a back rub and we spent the rest of the evening
not talking...SO not what I needed! After he went to
bed, I got on the internet and started some research.
I spent about 2 hours reading websites and message
boards found out about PMDD: Premenstrual Dysphoric
Disorder. Basically, it's PMS times 100! One of the
sites that made me cry again because it explained me
to a 'T', that I'm not a complete wack job, and the
remedy could be very easy...the symptoms I found are
stated as follows:

"Women with PMDD complain of irritability, anger,
tension, marked depressed mood, and mood lability
(crying spells for no reason, verbal outbursts, or
tantrums ) to such a severity that quality of life is
seriously compromised. In addition to these symptoms,
some women complain of lethargy, sleep disturbance,
limited concentration and a host of physical symptoms
such as breast tenderness, headaches, joint and muscle
pain, bloating and weight gain.

The primary symptoms that distinguish premenstrual
dysphoric disorder from other mood disorders (i.e.,
major depression) or menstrual conditions is the onset
and duration of PMDD symptoms -- with symptoms
appearing during the week or so before and
disappearing within a few days after the onset of
menses -- and the level by which these symptoms
disrupt daily living tasks. (This diminished level of
functioning is generally in great contrast with the
same woman's interactions and abilities at other times
during the month.)"

It all really matched up to what I had been
experienceing. As I began to track back at some of the
breakdowns I'd been having, they were all lined up
perfectly with my monthly cycle. All the backsliding
would start about a week before my period started, and
end after my first day. I plan on tracking myself the
next couple of months to be sure, but so far, it all
adds up! From some of the message boards I've been
reading on, most women are able to control a bulk of
the problem with diet and exercise. I haven't been
exercising regularly, and I really need to pick that
up again. The month that I did pilates regularly, I
felt like a different person...maybe I need to pick
that back up *hint, hint*!

I printed out a couple of things and showed them to J
this morning, and he was kind of stunned, didn't
really know what to say. There was some of the info
that talked about suicidal tendencies along with the
depression, believe me! things in my life have not
led me to swoop that far into a funk! He was really
worried that I had gone there, but I assured him that
I hadn't. He asked what he needed to do, and I told
him that I just needed his love and support, and most
of all his patience when I'm getting close to "that
time", and that if I went so far as to seek therapy,
that he would be there to support my decision and go
with me if I ever wanted him too. I also told him that
I really need some more "ME" time. He's been working
so much overtime lately because of the campus
retreats, and other things, that I've not had a moment
to myself, without the kids, except to go to Kroger or
Wal-Mart, in months. I don't think that's helped things so much,
and I think it would help keep me from unraveling
quite as much. I think most of his "avoidance" of the
situation at hand yesterday and at other times, was
his trying to stay out of the line of fire! AND I
think the definition of "free ME time" is that he is
totally fine taking some time to play Xbox or watch a
movie at home...for me, my def. of free time is going
out by MYSELF to shop, or have coffee with a friend,
getting a spa treatment, etc. All of the above take
money or coordination with another person, as well as
coordination with Jeff's schedule. He's not against
me doing things by myself, the stars just never seem
to align at the right time.

Anyway, I've also read about some over the counter
suppliments that I can try (St. John's Wort, B Vitas,
5-htl or something like that), and I'd like to try
them before I seek professional help. My insurance
doesn't cover a ton of the costs for therapy, even
with a referral, and we just can't afford much more
debt in our life. I want to try some of the things
I've been reading about today, and see how things go.

But anyway...that has been the monumental discovery of
my weekend. How's your head? That's a lot to digest!
I'm better today...I think it's just brought a peace
of mind to me that I may know the answer to a lot of
situations now, and there are things I can do about
it. I've got good people all around me that will
provide support and encouragement. That's a real